Dealing with grief

One thing that we can be sure of, in fact, the only thing we can be sure of in this life, is that the physical body will cease to exist. Physical death is the only thing that we are guaranteed in this life.

Even though we are certain that it will happen, we invest very little time in contemplating this, as we feel that this is taboo and should be avoided at all costs. 

Nevertheless, this is a reality, and we can talk about it openly. Our physical bodies will cease to exist, and the same goes for our friends, loved ones, and everyone we know. The purpose of this article is not to contemplate the dropping of our own bodies, but on how we deal with the situation when our loved ones drop their bodies.

So, how do we deal with this change? How do we deal with grief? 

When we are talking about grief, it is not the grief itself that brings us sadness, but the way we deal with it plays a big part in the overall experience.

Let's explore!

A deeper understanding

When we investigate the nature of our own Being, we come to the knowing that we are not the body and that we are not our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

As we dig deeper into our True Nature, we realize that we are free from the limitations of the physical body. We are free from the limitations of name and form, time and space. So, death is not necessarily what we usually think it is.

However, dealing with the passing away of a loved one is not a pleasant experience. This is completely understandable, this is part of the experience of this human incarnation, we should not deny ourselves this experience or go against it.

Yet, we tend to focus so much on the physical absence of our loved ones, that we forget to see the subtle aspect that remains.

This means that we acknowledge that the face of someone is not here anymore, their scent is not around anymore, their laugh cannot be heard anymore, their physical absence is felt. When we only focus on this, the sadness can overwhelm us, it can totally absorb us. The more we focus on the absence of the physical, the more it becomes our reality, The longer we remain focusing on this, the longer we remain in sadness.

We can be truthful and honest with ourselves and accept the fact that the physical body is not going to return, the smile is not going to return. Still, we remain patient with ourselves and allow the grieving to happen. With time, as we are ready to let go, we can make peace with this.

It takes courage

It takes courage to explore our emotions during the time of grief. Yet, when we explore what is really happening on the inside, we realize that even though we are truly missing this person themselves, there is something that remains. We may not notice this immediately, but the 'footprints' of our loved ones remain in our hearts.

These footprints are called Love. 

So, the love that we seem to be missing is still here in our hearts. The love remains, and we can always connect with this loving, peaceful presence inside of us.

Therefore, while the process of grieving is perfectly fine, we can remain mindful and investigate what exactly it is that we are grieving for.

If it is the physical absence of the person, we can contemplate impermanence and we can also investigate the nature of our Being. This should bring us peace.

If we are missing the warm feeling in our hearts that the loved one used to give us, then we know that what we are missing, is love. We do not have to miss this love, because it remains at our Source. Always there, always loving. Undiscriminating love.

Dealing with grief does not have to be painful as we see it.