How many times have we found ourselves in the presence of someone, and we felt that we have to act in a certain way, or that we need to be a certain person now? It can be in the presence of someone we see as important or even someone we feel we do not like. There comes a feeling of becoming aware of our 'self' and we then act in a certain way, an unnatural way.
Think of a time we had to go for a job interview or when we had to meet an important guest. We have all these ideas of what we should be doing and what is being expected of us. This creates discomfort, it requires a lot of mental effort and it creates internal friction.
On the other side of the spectrum, how many times have we been with someone and we expected them to act in a certain way, to be a certain kind of person? We have these expectations that someone should be walking like this, talking like this, looking like this, and when they don't live up to our expectations, we are disappointed, we suffer. What is even worse, we make those around us suffer too.
Not only do we have these expectations for those around us, but we also have these expectations of ourselves. We feel that we should be dressing like this, we should be talking like this, we should be acting like this because that is what society expects of us.
Expectations equals disappointments
We have said this many times before, and we can say it again. Whenever we have an expectation of something, be it a circumstance, a person, whatever it may be, we know that there is the opportunity for disappointment. Expectations open the door to endless disappointments!We do not have to believe this, simply check up. Have expectations and see what follows. It brings us unhappiness, unhappiness for us having the expectations, and for those we are expecting something of.
When we understand this, we can let go of this way of thinking. We can renounce expectations.
Taking off the masks
Now, imagine being in the presence of someone that allows us to just be ourselves. Someone that has no expectations whatsoever, and just accepts us as we are. Regardless of the way we dress, our education, our beliefs, our suffering, our neurotic minds, this person treats us with kindness and love, and we know that this person wants nothing from us.This brings us a sense of freedom, a sense of relief, and we know that we do not have to watch our speech, be self-conscious of the way we sit, the way we eat, the way we act. We can simply be. It gives tremendous peace.
Is this not what all of us would like to experience?
Now, imagine being that kind of person that allows those around us to simply be in our presence. No expectations, no judgments, just letting this person be themself and accepting and loving them for who and what they are, knowing that they are God hiding behind a face, knowing that it is a reflection of ourSelf. Imagine the peaceful reality we can create for ourselves and those around us...
Freeing others by freeing ourselves
Reading this may sound inspiring, but creating such a reality is not that easy, at least not if we want it to be real. See, in order to offer this kind of freedom to those around us, we need to have this freedom internally. Only then, can we truly allow everyone around us to simply be.Our minds have been conditioned over extensive periods of time, believing that we are this someone or this something and that someone else should be this or that. This ego that does all this discrimination. This way of thinking has become a habit, and we want to break this habitual way of thinking.
Through introspection and meditation, we can go inwards, deep, deep inwards, and we can discover who we truly are. It is like peeling the layers of an onion, removing each identity, each idea we have about who and what we are. Dissolving the ego.
As we dissolve the ego, our True Nature which has always been in the background, starts to move to the front. The illusions of the ego get shattered, and we come Home to ourSelf. When we find this, we know that each and everyone around us shares this same True Nature and that we were never anything separate from each other. All along we have been One.
Through this realization, freeing ourselves from the expectations of the ego, we can simply be and we can offer those around us the same peace, the same freedom to simply be who they are. Acceptance of whatever is. We can create a space of freedom for ourselves and those around us.
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| Even when those around us are going through changes, experiencing impermanence, we can offer them a peaceful space of acceptance, free of judgments, free of expectations. |
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Thank you Anrich. I do think that introspection should be a daily exercise..only if you judge yourself first, it becomes easier to accept people for who they are.
ReplyDeleteHey Dorhette,
DeleteThank you for your valuable comment!
Yes indeed, you are right. When we realize that everyone is suffering, just like us, and is only seeking true peace and happiness, just like us, we can look past the difference, past the separation of us VS them, me VS you.
It is a great practice to dissolve the ego.
❤️