Chasing an experience

Life seems to be all about the experience, doesn't it? We chase one experience after the other, going after one enjoyable experience to the next. 

Now, let's set the foundation for the rest of this article. 

Let's say, for example, we are listening to music. There is the experience of listening to music. The same with eating. The food or the taste is experienced. Of course, the experience of eating depends on what we are eating. The experience of eating a pizza may be more enjoyable than the experience of eating a salad. Yet, regardless of what is eaten, we are experiencing the taste, the texture, etc.

So it goes with whatever we do, there is the experience of thought, emotion, sensation, perception. All that we have from life, is the experience. All that is known, is the experience. 

Let this sink in for a moment.

Now, what do all experiences have in common? They are different kinds of experiences, yes, but how are we experiencing them? Through knowing them. The experiences are known to us. 

Therefore, we can conclude that all that there is to the food we are eating, is the experiencing of the eating. All that there is to the experience of the food, is the knowing of the experience. Even the experience of a body, a thought, an emotion, these are all known. This knowing of the experience remains the same, for each and every experience, regardless of the kind of experience, such as 'good' or 'bad'.

This element of knowing is what we want to investigate.

The Knower

As we slowly become aware that there is a knower to all experiences, we shift our attention to this 'knower'. We realize that this 'knower' is always present, always the same. This 'knower' knows it all, and it seems like we cannot distinguish any separation between 'ourselves' and this 'knower'. We can not even distinguish between 'ourselves' and 'knowing'. 

Therefore, when we investigate the 'knower', we are actually not turning our attention towards a separate object or entity, but attention returns to the space where it arises from. It goes inwards, for a lack of better words. It looks at itself. 

Eventually, we realize that we are this ever-present knower, we have always been this knower. We can acknowledge that the 'knowing' of any experience and 'ourselves' are nothing separate, it is not two.

Considering this, we can now think of our spiritual path. We have this seeking for our True Nature, we are seeking God, the Self, the Clear Light of the mind, enlightenment, Nirvana, whatever it may be. 

And, how do we do this seeking? What are we looking for? If we are completely honest, it is most likely that we are seeking an object or an experience. We are seeking something new that was not there before. We are looking for 'something' to happen to us, this special experience!

Now, let's check up.

No experience

We mentioned that we ourselves are the knower, the witness, the observer. Anything that is observed or experienced, it comes and goes. Whatever is experienced, appears as objects to us. Objects arise, and we experience them accordingly. We are the Subject, in which all objects appear.

Now, when we are looking for God, or for the Truth, we may also be seeking it as a separate object, or as an experience. What obstacle does this create? 

It implies that we are looking for something that comes and goes. Something that was not there before, but that will show up now. Another object illuminated by the Clear Light of the mind. 

We keep looking at objects illuminated by Awareness, but we are failing at recognizing or acknowledging Awareness itself. Awareness, upon investigation, is nothing separate from who we are, at this very present moment. 

We can never experience awareness as an object, in the same way that fire can not burn itself, or that a flame can not illuminate itself. 

Therefore, when this 'realization' happens, when our Self is revealed, it may be followed by experiences of joy, bliss, tears, or whatever, but it is not an experience itself. These experiences following can vary from one person to another, but they are not to be regarded here.  

To conclude, we can renounce this search for an object that will lead us to lasting peace and fulfillment. We can drop this idea that we must undergo some great mystical experience before we can finally know ourSelf. 

In fact, the seeking of some 'experience' may just prevent us from finding what we are looking for.

What we are seeking, is already here, now, and nothing separate from who we are. 

As the sun is the subject illuminating all objects, Awareness in the Subject in which all objects appear.
Awareness is who we are.

Related articles on this blog:

Endless seeking - 08 December, 2020
Waking up, Part 1 - 30 December, 2020
True Freedom - 08 February, 2021