This article was inspired by a conversation the author recently had with a friend. Someone asked the friend the following question: "How do I know you love me?"
Well, this is a tricky question, isn't it?
Especially if one has a warm-blooded, Latin-American partner!
Just joking, of course.
Nevertheless, this is a real and sincere question that many of us may ask or wonder about. The author is no expert in love, but thought it would be good to write an article and share some thoughts on this topic.
Someone may tell us that they love us, but we do not feel this. Yet, someone else may never tell us that they love us, but we feel very much loved in their presence. Based on this, we can forget the words themselves.
Another thing we can consider is the supposed object and subject of love. If there is an apparent 'me' loving an apparent 'you', can this be true? Is the idea of duality and separation not just an illusion? We can investigate ourselves. When we know that the 'separate self' is just a thought, how can love really come from a thought?
Is this apparent 'love' not just another thought, another idea?
This is worth considering, especially if we are in romantic relationships.
So, what is love then?
One thing we can say for sure, is when someone holds no expectations from us, when someone does not want anything from us and just accepts us as we are, this is something we can feel. Right?
We do not have to pretend in the presence of this person, we can simply be and know that we are not judged. We are accepted. We also feel accepted.
This acceptance and absence of expectation and discrimination create an openness. In this openness, the ideas of 'you' and 'me' dissolve. There is no separation. There is just an experience, a shared experience. In this space, there is union. This union is experienced as peace and harmony.
Without placing the label 'love' on this - is this not what we want?
Let's consider.
Related articles on this blog:
Oh, Dharamsala! - 14 October 2021
Well, this is a tricky question, isn't it?
Especially if one has a warm-blooded, Latin-American partner!
Just joking, of course.
Nevertheless, this is a real and sincere question that many of us may ask or wonder about. The author is no expert in love, but thought it would be good to write an article and share some thoughts on this topic.
Words and actions
One thing we can confirm, is that the words "I love you" mean nothing. They are just sounds. So, the words themself do not really express or display love, do they?Someone may tell us that they love us, but we do not feel this. Yet, someone else may never tell us that they love us, but we feel very much loved in their presence. Based on this, we can forget the words themselves.
Another thing we can consider is the supposed object and subject of love. If there is an apparent 'me' loving an apparent 'you', can this be true? Is the idea of duality and separation not just an illusion? We can investigate ourselves. When we know that the 'separate self' is just a thought, how can love really come from a thought?
Is this apparent 'love' not just another thought, another idea?
Unconditional
One thing worth noting is that love is not the same as lust, attachment, or desire. Being an object of desire does not mean that we are loved. Being attached to, does not mean that we are loved. Lust, desire, and attachment arise for the satisfaction of a 'separate self' only.This is worth considering, especially if we are in romantic relationships.
So, what is love then?
One thing we can say for sure, is when someone holds no expectations from us, when someone does not want anything from us and just accepts us as we are, this is something we can feel. Right?
We do not have to pretend in the presence of this person, we can simply be and know that we are not judged. We are accepted. We also feel accepted.
This acceptance and absence of expectation and discrimination create an openness. In this openness, the ideas of 'you' and 'me' dissolve. There is no separation. There is just an experience, a shared experience. In this space, there is union. This union is experienced as peace and harmony.
Without placing the label 'love' on this - is this not what we want?
Let's consider.
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| Love is not the same as desire, lust, attachment. |
Related articles on this blog:
Oh, Dharamsala! - 14 October 2021
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